《Lockdown》
Chapter Summary
An entirely fictitious May 2020
“I hate this. I hate only seeing you on a screen, or on the ****ing TV talking bullshit about bakingand home schooling. I hate not being able to be in the same country - on the same ****ingcontinent.” Cate put her hand to her forehead. She closed her eyes, feeling the anger coming fromRooney, but not having anything to say to dissipate it. The voice on the phone continued, “I hateonly hearing your breath Cate, because you don’t know what to say to me. I hate that you feel youhave to find something to say to me, if we were together you wouldn’t need to search for thewords, if we were -”
“Rooney, don’t.”
“Fucking, ****ing…. what? Don’t what?”
The younger woman was almost drunk, not quite there yet, but almost. Cate took a deep breath.
“Darling, listen, shall I call you tomorrow?” Her voice was calm, it was straying towards the voiceshe used, frequently these days, to placate her children. She winced at herself. “In the morningwhen you’ve had some sleep I’ll call you then - you’ve got to sleep baby, you need it. Rooney,you’re not sleeping.”
“You know what? Do what you like.”
Then there was nothing.
It was a shame that you didn’t hear a click and a buzz anymore when someone hung up on you,Cate thought. Things used to be much more dramatic. When the hanger-upper could slam thephone down in frustration and the hung-up-upon could hear the click and the buzz, leaving themno doubt that it wasn’t the connection, or an accidental fumble.
Cate sat on the step with her phone between her hands looking at the screen, under no illusion thatthis had been an accidental fumble. She could understand the frustration. The blonde’s shouldersslumped, she was powerless.
Rooney had started drinking more. Cate knew it was as a result of lockdown, for the first fewweeks the younger woman had continued her usual healthy regime, gone a bit overboard in fact,obsessing about what and when she ate and how she exercised. After the initial weeks though,when things started getting really weird in the States, that had stopped. Now Cate knew she wasfinding things difficult, sleep was eluding her and she had started drinking to help her drift off atnight.
It wasn’t that Cate didn’t know what to do, rather that she couldn’t do anything and it was anuncomfortable, increasingly familiar feeling. Helpless, powerless, impotent. Normally, if either ofthem was showing signs of struggling they would get on a plane. Pretty much immediately, itwasn’t difficult anymore, which was part of the reason that Rooney was finding this so hard, butwell, it was hardly Cate’s fault. The blonde sighed and stood up, slipping her phone into her backpocket and turned to go into the house.
~•
Rooney sat in the dark nursing her Cuba Libre and her ego. Cate hadn’t, as she said she would,called in the morning. She hadn’t heard from her for what, three days? Time was being strange...anyway she hadn’t heard from her at all since she had hung up - and she knew she only had herselfto blame. She was acting like a spoilt child, she recognised that she often did. Not being free tomove around was seriously screwing with her head. She missed her friends, her freedom and shemissed Cate. She was bored, lonely and pissed off.
Her phone on the table beside her buzzed and she half glanced towards it halfheartedly, swirlingthe cool, strong drink in her mouth before swallowing. She was avoiding her mom and her sisterand debated leaving the phone altogether. There was always a chance though, that it might be Cateso she leant over and grabbed it from the table, unlocking the screen to read the message.
"Are you wearing a beanie?"
Rooney couldn’t help but smile. Cate knew her.
"Yes. Makes me feel safe."
She hit send and waited, knowing Cate would reply straight away.
"Good. You suit a hat. Tell me what else you are wearing."
Rooney considered it.
"Oscar de la Renta, spring 2020."
The younger woman chuckled at her own humour.
"niiiice"
"I wish - black sweats, denim shirt, white socks."
"Is that all?"
"I’m sorry for being a so annoying."
She wanted to say more but didn’t have the words.
"You’re not annoying, Rooney. You don’t need to apologise, I don’t want to hear that."
Rooney knew that Cate didn’t like to dwell on things. As she was considering what to reply, thephone buzzed in her hand.
"You know what I want."
“Call me?”
She wanted to hear her lover’s voice. Cate called immediately and Rooney answered before thephone had even made a noise.
Chapter Summary
An entirely fictitious May 2020
“I hate this. I hate only seeing you on a screen, or on the ****ing TV talking bullshit about bakingand home schooling. I hate not being able to be in the same country - on the same ****ingcontinent.” Cate put her hand to her forehead. She closed her eyes, feeling the anger coming fromRooney, but not having anything to say to dissipate it. The voice on the phone continued, “I hateonly hearing your breath Cate, because you don’t know what to say to me. I hate that you feel youhave to find something to say to me, if we were together you wouldn’t need to search for thewords, if we were -”
“Rooney, don’t.”
“Fucking, ****ing…. what? Don’t what?”
The younger woman was almost drunk, not quite there yet, but almost. Cate took a deep breath.
“Darling, listen, shall I call you tomorrow?” Her voice was calm, it was straying towards the voiceshe used, frequently these days, to placate her children. She winced at herself. “In the morningwhen you’ve had some sleep I’ll call you then - you’ve got to sleep baby, you need it. Rooney,you’re not sleeping.”
“You know what? Do what you like.”
Then there was nothing.
It was a shame that you didn’t hear a click and a buzz anymore when someone hung up on you,Cate thought. Things used to be much more dramatic. When the hanger-upper could slam thephone down in frustration and the hung-up-upon could hear the click and the buzz, leaving themno doubt that it wasn’t the connection, or an accidental fumble.
Cate sat on the step with her phone between her hands looking at the screen, under no illusion thatthis had been an accidental fumble. She could understand the frustration. The blonde’s shouldersslumped, she was powerless.
Rooney had started drinking more. Cate knew it was as a result of lockdown, for the first fewweeks the younger woman had continued her usual healthy regime, gone a bit overboard in fact,obsessing about what and when she ate and how she exercised. After the initial weeks though,when things started getting really weird in the States, that had stopped. Now Cate knew she wasfinding things difficult, sleep was eluding her and she had started drinking to help her drift off atnight.
It wasn’t that Cate didn’t know what to do, rather that she couldn’t do anything and it was anuncomfortable, increasingly familiar feeling. Helpless, powerless, impotent. Normally, if either ofthem was showing signs of struggling they would get on a plane. Pretty much immediately, itwasn’t difficult anymore, which was part of the reason that Rooney was finding this so hard, butwell, it was hardly Cate’s fault. The blonde sighed and stood up, slipping her phone into her backpocket and turned to go into the house.
~•
Rooney sat in the dark nursing her Cuba Libre and her ego. Cate hadn’t, as she said she would,called in the morning. She hadn’t heard from her for what, three days? Time was being strange...anyway she hadn’t heard from her at all since she had hung up - and she knew she only had herselfto blame. She was acting like a spoilt child, she recognised that she often did. Not being free tomove around was seriously screwing with her head. She missed her friends, her freedom and shemissed Cate. She was bored, lonely and pissed off.
Her phone on the table beside her buzzed and she half glanced towards it halfheartedly, swirlingthe cool, strong drink in her mouth before swallowing. She was avoiding her mom and her sisterand debated leaving the phone altogether. There was always a chance though, that it might be Cateso she leant over and grabbed it from the table, unlocking the screen to read the message.
"Are you wearing a beanie?"
Rooney couldn’t help but smile. Cate knew her.
"Yes. Makes me feel safe."
She hit send and waited, knowing Cate would reply straight away.
"Good. You suit a hat. Tell me what else you are wearing."
Rooney considered it.
"Oscar de la Renta, spring 2020."
The younger woman chuckled at her own humour.
"niiiice"
"I wish - black sweats, denim shirt, white socks."
"Is that all?"
"I’m sorry for being a so annoying."
She wanted to say more but didn’t have the words.
"You’re not annoying, Rooney. You don’t need to apologise, I don’t want to hear that."
Rooney knew that Cate didn’t like to dwell on things. As she was considering what to reply, thephone buzzed in her hand.
"You know what I want."
“Call me?”
She wanted to hear her lover’s voice. Cate called immediately and Rooney answered before thephone had even made a noise.