Three pastors 三个牧师Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft（阁楼） and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry（钟楼） and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated（熏制） , and they still won’t go away.The third said, I baptized（洗礼） all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala（欢庆的） charity event was taking place.Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution."Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?""Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."一只猪和一只鸡路过一所教堂，那里有一场盛大慈善活动正在进行着。在精神上收到触动的猪向小鸡提出建议：他们每个人作出点自己的贡献。“好主意！”鸡尖叫道，“让我们给腿和鸡蛋吧？”“着什么急”猪不耐烦地说，“对你来说，是一个贡献，对我来说，这是一个完全的献身。”