Passenger: Is this my train?
Conductor: No, sir. It belongs to the railway company.
Passenger: Don't be funny. Can I take this train to New York?
Conductor: No, sir, it's much too heavy.

A: Why are tall men lazy?
B: Because they lie long.

Judge: Tell me why you parked there.
Driver: Because, Your Honor, it said “Fine for Parking”

A: My uncle kissed me.
B: How nice! Did you kiss him back, dear?
A: Of course not. I kissed his face.

A: Tom, you know you can't sleep in class.
B: I know, sir. But maybe I could, if you were a little quieter.

A: How many feet are in a yard?
B: It depends on how many people are standing in it.

hi.

lol

A: What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
B: The ground.
（This man must be fall down many times,Lol)

I work for a semiconductor company which makes electronic chips. On being asked about what I do, I once told to one of my aunts that after completing my electronics engineering, I had started working in a chip designing company.
After a pause for few seconds, she asked:"What are your most popular flavors? Are the chips as good as Lays??"
I had no idea what to say.

lol

I am unable to catch the punch line,so they kind of fall flat.but people are in for a treat,I guess