I don’t know how long it takes for me to realise that isn’t going to happen, that she is gone. But when I do feel all the strength go out of me, and I fall to my knees beside the table and I think I cry, then, or at least I want to, and everything inside me screams for just one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more.
HELL NO

“If I don't survive," I say, "tell Tobias I didn't want to leave him.”