I'm afraid, John, I can't congratulate you.
约翰 恐怕我无法祝贺你.
All emotions, and in particular love, stand
opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things.
所有的情感 尤其是爱
都和被我奉为至高无上的理性相违背.
A wedding is, in my considered opinion,
nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational
and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world.
婚礼在我看来不过是为庆祝这个病态的 道德缺失的世界上所有的错误 虚伪 无理以及冲动.
Today we honour the deathwatch
beetle that is the doom of our society.
今天我们所尊崇的是将要终结这个社会的蛀虫.
and in time, one feels certain, our entire
species.
将来它也一定会终结整个人类.
If I burden myself with a little helpmate
during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he
has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with
me.
如果我愿意在冒险时带上一个助手 不会是因为动了感情 或是心血来潮 而是因为他有着诸多优良的品质 只是他自己忽略了
因为对我太过着迷.
Indeed, any reputation I have for mental
acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so
selflessly provides
其实 如果我被认为是思维敏锐
都是因为约翰极为无私地衬托了我.
It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend
to favour exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day.
我想 新娘在她们最重要的一天
总是会偏爱平凡无奇的女傧们.
There is a certain analogy there, I feel.
新郎和伴郎也很类似.
And contrast is, after all, God's own plan
to enhance the beauty of his creation.
可以说 对比
是上帝增强自己作品美感的方式.
Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous
fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
除非上帝只是个荒谬的幻想 只为给愚人们提供职业而存在.
The point I'm trying to make is that I am
the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole
they anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet.
我想说的就是 我是一个极为讨厌的
无礼的 愚蠢的 可恨的蠢蛋 谁遇见我 都是一种不幸.
I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of
the beautiful and uncomprehending in the face of the happy.
我对美德不屑一顾 对美好视而不见 对幸福理解不能.
So if I didn't understand I was being asked
to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend.
所以 如果受邀做伴郎时我无法理解
那只是因为 我从未想过我能成为谁最好的朋友.
And certainly not the best friend of the
bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of
knowing.
更别说 成为我有幸认识的最勇敢
最善良 最聪慧的人最好的朋友.
John, I am a ridiculous man.
约翰 我是个荒唐的家伙.
Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy
of your friendship.
是你温暖而坚定的友谊拯救了我.
But, as I am apparently your best friend, I
cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion.
但是 作为你最好的朋友
我无法赞同你对伴侣的选择.
Actually, now I can.
不过 现在可以了.
Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it
is the highest compliment of which I am capable.
玛丽 如果我说你配得上这个男人
这是我能想到的最高赞誉了.
John, you have endured war and injury and
tragic loss - so sorry again about that last one - so know this, today you sit
between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved.
约翰 你经受过战争
受过创伤和失去的痛苦 再次为最后那个道一次道歉 请你明白 今天在你身边的是你选做妻子的女人和你所拯救的男人.
In short, the two people who love you most
in all this world.
也就是 这世上最爱你的两个人.
And I know I speak for Mary as well when I
say, we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.
在此 我想对你说
我们永远不会辜负你 我知道玛丽也是这么想的 我们会用一生去证明.
约翰 恐怕我无法祝贺你.
All emotions, and in particular love, stand
opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things.
所有的情感 尤其是爱
都和被我奉为至高无上的理性相违背.
A wedding is, in my considered opinion,
nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational
and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world.
婚礼在我看来不过是为庆祝这个病态的 道德缺失的世界上所有的错误 虚伪 无理以及冲动.
Today we honour the deathwatch
beetle that is the doom of our society.
今天我们所尊崇的是将要终结这个社会的蛀虫.
and in time, one feels certain, our entire
species.
将来它也一定会终结整个人类.
If I burden myself with a little helpmate
during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he
has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with
me.
如果我愿意在冒险时带上一个助手 不会是因为动了感情 或是心血来潮 而是因为他有着诸多优良的品质 只是他自己忽略了
因为对我太过着迷.
Indeed, any reputation I have for mental
acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so
selflessly provides
其实 如果我被认为是思维敏锐
都是因为约翰极为无私地衬托了我.
It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend
to favour exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day.
我想 新娘在她们最重要的一天
总是会偏爱平凡无奇的女傧们.
There is a certain analogy there, I feel.
新郎和伴郎也很类似.
And contrast is, after all, God's own plan
to enhance the beauty of his creation.
可以说 对比
是上帝增强自己作品美感的方式.
Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous
fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
除非上帝只是个荒谬的幻想 只为给愚人们提供职业而存在.
The point I'm trying to make is that I am
the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole
they anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet.
我想说的就是 我是一个极为讨厌的
无礼的 愚蠢的 可恨的蠢蛋 谁遇见我 都是一种不幸.
I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of
the beautiful and uncomprehending in the face of the happy.
我对美德不屑一顾 对美好视而不见 对幸福理解不能.
So if I didn't understand I was being asked
to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend.
所以 如果受邀做伴郎时我无法理解
那只是因为 我从未想过我能成为谁最好的朋友.
And certainly not the best friend of the
bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of
knowing.
更别说 成为我有幸认识的最勇敢
最善良 最聪慧的人最好的朋友.
John, I am a ridiculous man.
约翰 我是个荒唐的家伙.
Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy
of your friendship.
是你温暖而坚定的友谊拯救了我.
But, as I am apparently your best friend, I
cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion.
但是 作为你最好的朋友
我无法赞同你对伴侣的选择.
Actually, now I can.
不过 现在可以了.
Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it
is the highest compliment of which I am capable.
玛丽 如果我说你配得上这个男人
这是我能想到的最高赞誉了.
John, you have endured war and injury and
tragic loss - so sorry again about that last one - so know this, today you sit
between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved.
约翰 你经受过战争
受过创伤和失去的痛苦 再次为最后那个道一次道歉 请你明白 今天在你身边的是你选做妻子的女人和你所拯救的男人.
In short, the two people who love you most
in all this world.
也就是 这世上最爱你的两个人.
And I know I speak for Mary as well when I
say, we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.
在此 我想对你说
我们永远不会辜负你 我知道玛丽也是这么想的 我们会用一生去证明.
