Serina Lee
Onishi 2
9.17.2012
Relationship essay first draft
“I’m never talking to you again!” That was my mom yelling at me when I got the rejecting mail from Interlake. My brain tried to process her words while my heart focused on beating. Her eyes were blazing with disappointment and anger. I didn’t look her in the eye; it was like avoiding a dog attack – don’t make eye contact, keep your head down, and seal your mouth shut. This horrible dilemma happened after my break in Taiwan.
My mom had paid a lot for my tutor and devoted abundant time in aiding me while I study at full speed for the Interlake exam. It had been extremely hard for her to come to the US, since she has been living in Taiwan all her life, and couldn’t get use to anything – food, weather, language, ppl – here. But she claimed that she is willing to sacrifice everything for me because she loves me greatly, as long as I put in enough effort.
The decision I made in Taiwan opened a gap between us. My mom allowed me a week of break right before the exam, and I promised her I would still study and review; however, that didn’t happen. The instance I depart from the plane, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to implement my promise. All of my close friends were there, and they overwhelmed me with love, care, happiness, and friendship. Suddenly, in the corner f my eyes, I saw my mom frown. And my promise echoed in my head, like I was underwater. My emotions sank like a stone as logic and reason fought their way to the surface. I calmed myself down and told my friends I can’t be with them every day; however, that didn’t happen either.
The next day, I phoned a group of close friends and asked them to hang out at the mall nearby. We shopped, chatted, hugged, bickered, teased, and enjoyed the proximity of each other. At around 7pm, when my best friend Ryan’s mom called him home for dinner, it was as if a centrifugal force was holding all of us together, like it would hold a roller coaster; we couldn’t leave each other. I hope we could stay like this forever, without study, school, or the sea to interfere. It was stupid to hope, I knew. But sometimes hope was all you had. I said my inner wish out loud; there was a loud chorus of agreement, followed by a clamor of voices urging me to stay in Taiwan. It was at that instance I decided to not study anymore this week and relax with my friends, completely unaware of the consequences afterwards.
A week of the most jubilant days of my life past, and I arrived the airport once again. And there was te frown on my mom’s face as last time; except this time, it was waving to get my attention instead of passively waiting.
My mom asked me urgently, and nervously a few times on the plane, “do you think you’ll make it to Interlake?” I confidently answered, “yeah, I’m sure I will.” The next day at the exam, the questions were as confusing as AP calculus to a 4th grader. Moreover, they were slowing rearranging themselves into a maelstrom. They swarmed in my head, trying with all their might to defeat my poor brain cells. As I came out, I was extremely devastated. My mom looked at me with a scold, but comforted my anyways, “you’ll get in.”
However, that totally didn’t happen. My mom was tremendously disappointed in me, and she yelled hoarsely at me stating she’s never talking to me ever again. She even thought I cared more about my friends than her. I tried abundant times and ways to talk casually to her and get the gap closed, but the thoughts I refused to think, the conversations that remained unspoken, the fears I never confessed, the dread building inside me – I couldn’t escape them.
Since then, my mom didn’t trust me for what seemed like years, though she never openly stated it. She did talk to me, however. This decision not only greatly affected my education, it also destroyed the trust established between me and my mom. I learned that in convoluted relationships, one will have to choose one that matters more or most, and might have to sacrifice the other few to keep that special one.
