1、The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead
of what you don't have.
欣赏和喜欢你拥有的东西，而不是你没有的东西，你才能快乐。
2、It seemed the
world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while
the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
人似乎分为好人和坏人。好人睡得好一些，而坏人似乎能更好地享受醒着的时间。
3、You can live to be a
hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a
hundred.
如果你放弃所有让你想活到一百岁的东西，你就可以活到一百岁。
4、When I was kidnapped,
my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
当我被绑架后，我父母立即采取行动——他们把我的房间租了出去。
5、I am not afraid of death, I
just don't want to be there when it happens.
我不怕死，我只是不想在我死的时候在场。
6、I
don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
我并不相信有来生，尽管我带上了供换洗的内衣裤。
7、I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a
car being pushed by two guys.
我的反应能力很差。有一次我被一辆车轧了，这辆车正由两个人推着走。
8、I'm
such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
我是一个很好的情人，因为我在自己身上经常操练。
9、If my films don't show a profit, I know
I'm doing something right.
如果我的电影不赚钱，我知道我做对了某件事。
10、Life is full of
misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
生活充满了悲惨、孤独和苦难，而且这一切都结束得太快了。
11、Death is one of the few things that
can be done as easily lying down.
死亡是少数几件只要躺下就能完成的事情之一。
12、The food
here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
这里的食物糟透了，而且一份的量太少了。
13、The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the
judge signed the divorce papers.
我和我老婆唯一一次同时获得高潮是在法官签署离婚文件时。
of what you don't have.
欣赏和喜欢你拥有的东西，而不是你没有的东西，你才能快乐。
2、It seemed the
world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while
the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
人似乎分为好人和坏人。好人睡得好一些，而坏人似乎能更好地享受醒着的时间。
3、You can live to be a
hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a
hundred.
如果你放弃所有让你想活到一百岁的东西，你就可以活到一百岁。
4、When I was kidnapped,
my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
当我被绑架后，我父母立即采取行动——他们把我的房间租了出去。
5、I am not afraid of death, I
just don't want to be there when it happens.
我不怕死，我只是不想在我死的时候在场。
6、I
don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
我并不相信有来生，尽管我带上了供换洗的内衣裤。
7、I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a
car being pushed by two guys.
我的反应能力很差。有一次我被一辆车轧了，这辆车正由两个人推着走。
8、I'm
such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
我是一个很好的情人，因为我在自己身上经常操练。
9、If my films don't show a profit, I know
I'm doing something right.
如果我的电影不赚钱，我知道我做对了某件事。
10、Life is full of
misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
生活充满了悲惨、孤独和苦难，而且这一切都结束得太快了。
11、Death is one of the few things that
can be done as easily lying down.
死亡是少数几件只要躺下就能完成的事情之一。
12、The food
here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
这里的食物糟透了，而且一份的量太少了。
13、The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the
judge signed the divorce papers.
我和我老婆唯一一次同时获得高潮是在法官签署离婚文件时。
